Thursday, May 03, 2012

On Today's Edition of Silly Marketing Ploys...Lifetime's Got a New Logo and Theme Nights


Calling all people with vaginas (note: my spellcheck doesn't recognize the plural form of vagina. or the word spellcheck!) Lifetime has done some soul searching and they've finally figured out what makes you tick. For some bullshit reason, it's not wall-to-wall Gosling.

From Variety:

Lifetime has launched a new logo and brand campaign with the slogan, "Your Life. Your Time."

"Nothing is more valuable to women than time," Lifetime Networks prexy and g.m. Nancy Dubuc explained. "A moment in time can be an experience that becomes memorable, and Lifetime creates times for viewers to laugh, cry, or be inspired. These aspirational moments and life experiences will continue to be the essence of the Lifetime brand."
When I think aspirational, I think Abby Lee Miller and Jennifer Love Hewitt, don't you?
Theme nights such as "mama drama time" with "Dance Moms" and "love time" with freshman hit "The Client List" will play off the new branding, conceptualized and developed by Lifetime senior marketing veep Tim Nolan, in partnership with creative design and production firm, Leroy + Clarkson (headed by Daniele Fries).
Dear Tim Nolan,

The essence of the Lifetime brand is a Sunday afternoon-as-blackhole trifecta of crazy ladies, homicidal husbands and Golden Girls marathons.

Your logo should be a Mt. Rushmore style rendering of Tiffani Amber Thiesen, Kellie Martin, and any two members of the Golden Girls cast.

You're Welcome,

Tellyphile



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