Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Living Blogging "Watch What Happens Live: All Star Party"


Earlier: Show opens with live rendition of WWHL theme song and host/ringmaster Andy Cohen drops word that Flipping Out  is coming back! Hooray. Interior Therapy is far too Zoila-less for my taste.

11:08pm: Top Chef's Gayle Simmons is Zoila's biggest fan.

AC makes a point of saying hi to NeNe. Mentions last time he saw her was the ATL Housewives Reunion: AC: "That was heavy." NeNe: "Yes, shots were fired." This was said in NeNe's version of Madonna's faux-British accent, which is essentially a Boughetto one. Love it.

11:17pm: Speaking of shots fired. There was a nice skirmish once Jeff Lewis was on set. Jeff kicked things off by saying he can't believe Bethenny didn't self-promote during her segment to nervous laughter and no real reaction from AC. Then he tries to diss Andy, tells him he looks like an Easter egg. AC  promptly replies, "You look like a funeral director and not in the Phaedra Parks kinda way." Uncomfortable titters from the Bravolebrity audience. Gauntlet laid.

11:20pm: Jeff to AC: "Thank you for wearing socks tonight by the way."

11:21pm: Oh yeah and Rosie Pope is there...crickets.

11:22pm: AC to Jeff: "I like it that you wore the long wig tonight." Jeff: "The summer wig." Man they need to get it over with already and jump each other bones. Or perhaps they already have? WWGS(What would Gage say. Undoubtedly something boooooring.)

11:25pm: Preview of five new shows.
  1.  Gallery Girls - NY gallerina girls
  2. Decades:
  3. Hollywood vintage shop runners 
  4. Sur: Lisa Van Der Pump spinoff. Lisa as den mother to her restaurant staff.  
  5. Silicon Valley: Tech nerds turned superstars. 
  6. MissAdvised: 3 relationship experts in 3 different cities who are themselves single
11:34pm: Game: The Real Housewives Battle Royale. Coast against coast. Oh dear, the ill-conceived Candy Factory is going to be a series. Why? I like Candy's role as part of an ensemble but I really question whether she can pull of a series independently. If she was going to get a show I would have much rathered Candy Coated Nights. What's your freak number?

Okay so this game was what it would be like if they broadcast the inside of a chickenhead coop. Andy Cohen was in full on ringmaster mode. Things learned during this hen fest: 
  • Mike Tyson is a houseives fan, favorite franchise is NJ.
  • There was a Real Housewives of South Park episode. Why wasn't I aware of this?
  • You may run into P. Diddy in a RH chat room. Favorite franchise? ATL of course.
11:38pm: Sneak peek of RHNY. Money quote from Heather Thomson, one of the newbies: "It's like vacationing with Snooki's grandmothers." Also notable, when the new trio is introduced they didn't exactly receive warm applause. Definitely new kids. Name that stood out to me: Carole Radziwell. Must be a Jackie O connection. A niece perhaps? Googled quickly. Sort of.

11:46pm: Around the World in 80 Plates promo. Curtis Stone has just oozed his way onto the set. Curtis Stone looks really odd live. They must airbrush him in post. There is something shady about that guy. General Hospital fans, is he not like a douchier Jax? Total doppelganger.

11:48pm: The Foodlywed Game between Padma and Tom C. and Curtis and the other 80 Days host Cat Cora. Curtis just cheated and coughed the right answer to Cat. Told you that guy wasn't on the up and up. Tom C. would never.

11:57pm: Housewives musical showcase. First up, Melissa Gorga from RHNJ. Singing to a backup track and with backup dancers. Bedazzled mic. She's mastered the Zolciak art of more talking than singing her lyrics. Best part is the cut to Andy Cohen looking like a kid in the candy store. Ho hum.

Countess Luann. How I've missed you! Elegance is learned, my friends. She's flanked by her costars. Wow, there's some sassy rump shaking going on from The Countess and cut to Andy, he now looks like he's having an orgasm.  Ramona and Sonja remind us why we love them by dancing like...well like Snooki's grandmothers. The 3 newbies must have gone overboard and botoxed too much because they can barely crack a smile.

What a jip! No Kim Z performance? A broad lands a husband and a mcmansion and suddenly she's too good to pretend to sing.

In conclusion: Kathy Griffin said it all at the top of the show when she said this was like the most messed up Golden Globes she's ever seen. Also was fun to learn that Kathy will not have celebrity guests on her Bravo hour-long talk show so she'll be free to talk about them. Keepin' it real. I like that. Also she dropped some inside dish that Jeff Lewis plays diva at Bravo promo shoots and storms off set. Andy's grin, part joyful/part shocked, at this was great.

Overall, worth watching if you're a die-hard Bravo viewer like me but this was basically like what I'd imagine upfronts would be like if they televised them. I don't mind if you want to do an hour long infomercial for your shows, Bravo but was way too light on actual dirt. Less games and more awkward interview moments. Except for Plead the Fifth. In fact, I would have been happy if AC had just played that with each of the RH casts and Jeff and Jenny.

Did you guys watch? What were your favorite moments? Discuss!