Sunday, June 05, 2011

Robert Pattinson Said "F*#ck" and Other Things on the "MTV Movie Awards"

And I promise as soon as everyone catches up to me and posts video of it, you'll find it here.

The best part is unlike Kanye, I don't think he was drunk at all. He was supposed to be giving Reese Witherspoon a Lifetime Achievement Award of golden popcorn for this year's "MTV Movie Awards". After Patrick Dempsey's earnest intro, Pattinson took over by awkwardly attempting a joke about how after Reese had his part cut from the movie "Vanity Fair" seven years ago in which Reese played his mother, he was now starring in "Water for Elephants" with her.

"I didn't cut you from the movie," he said, "but I did fuck you." Yes!

There was an effort to bleep the potty-mouthed Pale One, but alas MTV censors were a second too late. The collective celebrity jaw drop made it a wonderful live television moment. It's celebs-gone-rogue incidents like this that keep MTV award shows worth watching when you're old over a certain age. By certain age I'm referring to whatever age you are when the sight of Justin Bieber rocking a weird blue blazer and lil lesbian Lemon Tree haircut (seriously, what's going on w/ the hair? Justin B, call Justin Timbs. He can help you w/ your teen idol hair transitions) doesn't dampen your panties.

From there it only got more incredible weirder as we delved deeper into the Pattinson twilight zone. Rob clearly got his American basic cable channels mixed up and thought he was at a Comedy Central roast. He went on to divulge Reese's philosophy regarding tequila shots (she taught him they're like Lay's potato chips you see, you can't have just one) and that she's 33% lesbo for some unnamed female celeb.

Through all of this the third presenter of Reese's award, E! late night host and apparent Reese bestie Chelsea Handler, stood gobsmacked to borrow a Brit turn of phrase. I'm sure she couldn't believe her comedic good luck. Monday's "Chelsea Lately" should be good. I might actually watch.