Saturday, December 06, 2008

Jimmy Fallon to Premiere Online Monday

(Photo courtesy: variety.com)

Jimmy "at least I'm not Dane Cook" Fallon doesn't do it for TellyPhile. He's always seemed like an Adam Sandler for the tween set. And that emo hair? Pass.

Still, being TellyPhile, our interest was piqued by this tidbit via Huffington Post. Word is Fallon will be working out the kinks as the soon to be new host of "Late Night" (NYC will miss you, Conan) with live "video blogs" starting Monday. Hmm, a live comedic production overseen by Lorne Michaels with the potential to be chock full of suck. Jeez, Jimmy. It'll be like you never left.

In all seriousness, after viewing this clip of Jimmy with Dr. Evil in tow, TellyPhile was heartened by the fact that Jimmy's actually capable of spontaneous bursts of funny. It's a pleasant surprise. Let's hope his "Late Night" consists of more of this kind of smart humor and less of the "goodness me" stammering, awkward, humble dude routine. Michael Cera's got you beat on that front, James. See you on the lines! (TellyPhile Term: on the lines - a confused, mom jeans wearing person's way of saying "online").

Friday, December 05, 2008

See What Happens When I Forget About the Existence of Oxygen Network


The Bad Girls Club Season 3 Premiere - Funny bloopers are a click away

First, there's this montage, courtesy of the foxy ladies at Jezebel, of the worst (see best) things said on this week's premiere of "The Bad Girls Club". Then, there's my recent discovery (thks, D!) that Oxygen is prone to weekday afternoon "Living Single" mini-marathons--I'm all about a '90s kinda world. I've been sleeping on the goldmine that is Oxygen. To correct this wayward tellyphile behavior, I've made sure my DVR got a new scheduled recording. If like me, you're mesmerized by reality television's most enduring life lesson--skanks don't quit--then I trust yours will too. Adjourned.

Did You See...


Martha Stewart go all human on us and actually eff up on her daily talk show? In the above clip watch Martha making a holiday cosmo with some interesting results. Her unlikely assistant is a hoboish, but no less gallant Adrien Brody. Here's to Connecticut and well-mannered neurosis. Mar, you're the shiz. Watch the full segment (and lots more Martha mayhem) here.

Look! It's Suri



Everyone's talking about the NY Times' "T Magazine" with Tom and Katie. They get the double cover treatment and the results are pretty breathtaking where Katie's concerned. Tom's are aight too I suppose.

But the best part is we get a little insight into the world of the magnetic wee one they call Suri. From E! online:
Katie confirms previous reports that Suri has an entire apartment in their East Village building devoted to a gym. After being overwhelmed by the amount of attention Suri received at a Chelsea Piers gymnastics class, Tom decided to bring the gym to his little girl.
To further your unhealthy preoccupation with a two year old there's a nice slideshow of Katie and Suri in the City pics. Give in to it. K & S are the dopest Mommy n Me fashion duo out. They're dangerous.

Mariah Carey...sings?


This was Mariah earlier this week as the opener for CBS' odd Grammy Nom concert. When you've been in the business as long as MC has and you have a voice as fierce as hers, your stage presence shouldn't be reminiscent of an American Idol contestant. I'm just saying.

And just because I'm a thoughtful little tellyphile, here's a list of this year's Grammy nominees. You're welcome.

"Grey's" is starting to suck again

(Photo courtesy: ew.com)

It's time we had this talk. Grey's Anatomy. What's happening? There's something in the water over in Shondaland and it's very, very bad. Like three-eyed fish, cancer hotspot bad.

There are so many issues to address, so let's begin with the most flagrant foul. The storyline I've come to think of as Ghost II: Izzie Does Denny. We all remember Denny (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). The hot, half dead guy that Izzie fell in love with and risked her career for only to have him go way dead on her whilst wearing a prom dress. How embarassing. This season, he's baaaaaack and still a looker (doesn't JDM remind you of the "Everybody Loves Raymond" brother except put together in a way that's physically appealing?). Izzie's the only one that can see Denny and we've had to suffer through two episodes worth of hot, girl-on-ghost relations. All signs point to this being a build up for that much whispered about brain tumor that insiders said the writers were going to afflict Izzie with as payback for Katherine "I can't helpt it, I'm a Mormon" Heigl's very public smack talking about her less than stellar storyline. Listen, Grey's writers, I'm all for revenge, but not on our time, okay. Not cool.

The other innocent victim in all this? Poor Alex Korev. Every time he opens his heart to love, a little crazy seems to sneak its way in too. How excruciating to watch him profess his love for Izzie--finally, at long last--when we know she's not into it all. Yet again, audience robbed. Izzie and Alex finally getting together and going all in could have made for a great dramatic alternative to the Der and Mer saga. Ball dropped again.

Finally, the main characters' refusal to teach their interns, which of course led to the Little Grey and the gang almost kill Meredith's annoying new friend episode, is just lame. Even lamer is that even after something major like a near death going down, Meredith, Christina and the rest still haven't had any epiphany about how they need to be better teachers. Isn't that what the whole season started out being about with the chief going apeshit over Seattle Grace losing its ranking? Everything's all over the place, lacks focus. We lost a solid character like Hahn for the cool-as-a-cutter English broad whose name I've refused to even commit to memory. Make the bad writing stop and give us the Grey's we signed up for.

UPDATE: Turns out I was right. Sort of. (SPOILER ALERT)

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

The TV Set: Making A List, Checking It Twice

(Photo credit: Steve Fenn - ABC)

It's happened again. Barbara Walters has jumped into her trusty So Five Minutes Ago Machine to bring us her "10 Most Fascinating People" special. It airs this Thursday on ABC. The full list hasn't been made available but the seven names they have released to lure us in are remarkable only for being so not--Michael Phelps, Will Smith, Rush Limbaugh, Tom Cruise, Tina Fey, Miley Cyrus and Frank Langella. I had to google the last guy. Instead of a result Google had a question for me for a change--are you really this bored? Diss.

Choosing Will and TC is especially suspect. No one's ever been fascinated by Will Smith. He looks good running and is breathtakingly self satisfied in an inoffensive way. Tom hasn't been remotely interesting since the trouncing he gave to O's couch. But what do you know, they both just happen to have movies coming out this month. These lists are supposed to be about pure celebrity obsessed fun, not marketing ploys. Babs, you disappoint me. I know Phelps is all superhuman if you add water, but outside of the pool not so much. If you doubt me, try watching anyone interview him. Between yawns I always start fantasizing that it'll be something like the best mermaid movie ever "Splash" except, instead of a tail being exposed when Eugene Levy sprays him with water, Mikey's cleverly disguised charisma will be flopping around in a Speedo.

Anyway dear tellyphile, Dame WaWa may be faking the funk, but The TV Set keeps it real. A list of the year's most fascinating people should consist of celebrities that have truly left us flabbergasted, baffled, agog. They are the famous names that we'd watch until bleary eyed, not willing to risk a blink.

6. John Mayer. Don't balk. There's something about Mayer. Ask Jennifer Aniston. Despite his blabbing to the stalkerazzi about the demise of their relationship, the uberprivate former Friend came back for more. But more of what? Whatever "it" is, Jessica Simpson dug it too. So much so she downgraded to brunette for a while. A mistake. John soon dumped her. A frog prince coming into his own. Before long he was lounging poolside with America's favorite Jen and we had no choice but to begin studying him with rapt attention. He's all young dude with a guitar, weird blogging, devil maycaring it and she's just so darn...Jennifer Anistoney. Is there any there there? And which do we find more inexplicably alluring. John with a shorn head or sporting a self-described feathered 80's era homage?

5. Samantha Ronson. This is one impressive barnacle. Remember when she was just that creepy ghost in the periphery of all those Lindsey Lohan losing it pap shots? She always wore a fedora and was pale and hollow-eyed, looking every bit the fame sucking vampire. This year, still pale and sickly looking as ever, Ronson and Lohan confirmed the long-standing rumors that they were romantically involved by coming out as a couple--the Red Bull set's Ellen and Portia if you will. Despite her appearance, it turns out Ronson is part of the British elite. Leaping lizards, Sam's the one that's been slumming it all this time.

4. Brad Pitt. Age has come for Mr. Pitt's face and it's a wonder to behold. He's still gorgeous, but six kids takes its toll. When we're done being intrigued by the sight of Achilles getting on in years there's the fun game of recalling all the different versions of Brad we've been treated to. His persona at any given time directly correlates to who he was sleeping with. Looking for edgy Brad? Take a gander at the Juliette Lewis years. Brad at his most blonde? Duh. All Gwyneth. It's as if he's nothing more than a pod assuming all the characteristics of the one closest to him. In the real world, that's creepy. But in Hollywood, it's Oscar bound. Can't wait to see you get yours, Brad.

3. Sarah Palin. A gift to people watchers everywhere. There's the "Fargo" accent, the wacked out kids names, "also too" her crazy syntax and the train wreck good interviews in which she inadvertently let the cat out of the bag that she wasn't quite ready for primetime. Why should that stop the good governor? Sister Sarah plowed on driven by a brazen desire to get as much out of this crazy VP nominee thing as she could, including a five star wardrobe for herself and her brood. Are we hoping to see more of Palin in 2012? You betcha!

2. Britney Spears. Pop princess. Party girl. Redneck. Single mom. Caged bird. She's been there so long you would think the fascination would have worn off by now but our appetite for all things Britney is insatiable. You never know what visceral reaction Brit Brit's going to inspire--revulsion, envy, sympathy, guilt, admiration. They've all been evoked as we watched the once virginal pop covergirl enter two bad marriages, lose her innocence, her underwear, her kids and her mind. Now she's struggling to get it all back again.

1. Suri Cruise. Don't front. I've seen you stealing glances at the covers of US Weekly and Star whenever the First Baby of Scientology is on them. Who could blame you? TomKat's kitten is far superior to her celebuspawn peers. Sorry, Shiloh. Little Suri already has the commanding presence of a star. Look, there's Suri playing in the park. Now there she is escorting her mother down Fifth Avenue. In no time at all, you'll come to the conclusion that this toddler has a better life than you do and way more bank. She's even better off than her mother, the ghost of Katie Holmes. Unlike Katie, you get the sense that Suri's not taking any stuff from Mighty Dad TC. Tom revealed as much when he recently confessed that Suri won't let them put her in anything but dresses. There's a new pint sized sheriff in town, Tom. Katie, go get your heels.