Thursday, May 08, 2008

John McCain Visits The Daily Show

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If you missed McCain on "The Daily Show" last night, here are some key clips from over at Tuned In. Props to the old coot for playing along pretty smoothly when asked by Stewart if he was prepared to "reject and renounce" ole Dubya. Aaaaawwwkaaard. Seriously though, it's ballbuster but legit questions like that that convince me Stewart should be the general election debate for all of them. We're in pretty sorry shape when a comedian will without a doubt ask more relevant, beneficial questions that get to the heart of the matter--who's going to fix what Bush hath broken and beyond--than our supposed leading political "journalists".
If your little eyeballs could use a break from the unflinching glow of your computer screen, you can also watch McCain's entire replay coming up at 8pm on Comedy Central. Who's got your back? That's right, friendo, I do! Now...go fetch me a cold one and make me a sandwich. By "cold one" I mean a chilled diet carbonated beverage which I'd consider plugging for the right amount of greenbacks and "make me a sandwich" is of course a euphemism for oral. Don't look so affronted. We're all legal here.

Baby Steps

A new you is possible, even for lazy creatures of habit like us tellyphiles.

Not ExZachtly Scrubbed

Photo credit: Dean Hendler/NBC
All you rabid "Scrubs" fans out there, allow me to relieve your heartbreak. TV Decoder confirms that ABC will in all likelihood be picking up the seven-year old laugher -- I'm sorry what show were we talking about again? Ooohh riiiight..."Scrubs" that show that I always forget to watch anyway.

Um, so if you want to get really hardcore about it, check out Zach Braff introing a clip from tonight's NBC finale episode. It's an homage to "The Princess Bride" (now the ridiculous pic makes sense. I know. I too was hoping it was a razzi pic of Zach and the fake Becky at Medieval Times. After all, stars "they're just like us!") and was directed by Mr. Garden State himself. This could be really funny, but the clip isn't -- unless of course you're a white guy who's into like Monty Python and the Holy Grail and how many of those are there really? Like all of them, right?

Midday Munchie: Whistle While You Don't Work

Peter, Bjorn and John - Young Folks. Advance apologies for getting this song stuck in your head.

See You in September

"Scrubs" may be gone for longer than September if ABC doesn't pick it up. At any rate, its last episode on NBC airs tonight, 8:30pm. If "Scrubs" goes then what show am I going to consistently forget about despite the fact that when I do stumble upon it it manages to mildly amuse...oh helloooo, "Big Bang Theory"! Didn't see you there.

You definitely haven't seen the last of "30 Rock". It's season finale airs tonight after "The Office" at 9:30pm. Now, Tina Fey will be free to be the opening act on Hillary's doomed "Bitch is the New Black, Nevermind Reality" tour.

Ugly Betty Gains Street Cred

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Hasa la vista, baby. "Ugly Betty" is saying goodbye to The Governator and the rest of Lala Land, making the move to New York City according to published reports.

This is good news for viewers. Sure, the world Betty lives in is supposed to be New York, but did you ever really believe it? The whole problem with Betty, and I get that it's supposed to be over-the-top and slightly cartoonish, is that it lacks street cred. The ficticious Mode offices look more like an Ikea store office model than the epicenter of the New York fashion world. Ditto for the characters' ensems. Again, I don't buy that because they're going for a color-saturated, over-the-top comedic feel with the set and costume design that it should feel any less metropolitan. Anyone remember the "Dick Tracey" movie or even "Roger Rabbit"? Betty's set designers would be well served if they did.

Maybe now we'll get some authentic "Sex and the City" like exterior scenes. Wouldn't it be cool if "Ugly Betty" transformed itself from African street vendor knockoff to the genuine article? I know, not very likely, but a tellyphile can dream.

Starzilla vs. BabWah

Photo credit: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images; Maury Phillips/WireImage
Star Jones roared back at Barbara Walters over comments Babs made on the "Oprah" show last week during her desperate media blitz for her yawn-all book "Audition". Star ain't havin none of it. You ain't sellin' books on my rapidly-shrinking back, Norma Desmond! I've only got room enough for G'Al!

Starlet Marie, as we like to call her, had no problem getting ugly(er) in response to Barbara's claims that Star was kicked off "The View" because no one likes a phony. Le Wawa also said Zilla was a heavy breather (as someone who is so well-connected she had to do a phone interview with Star a while back, I'm going to have to second that). In response, Star called Babs out as a classless old hoe desperate for attention now that time wasn't on her side . Diss! Read her full statement here, Barbara's (non)response here.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Know Your TellyPhile History

For those of you in New York, learn yourself a little something about the people who helped make television the monster medium it is today. PBS net, WLIW (channel 21) is airing the second episode of their four part doc "Pioneers of Television" Saturday at 8pm. Segment will focus on the fathers of late night television. Jimmy Fallon, consider it required viewing for your newbie ass. At least they didn't pick Carson "Poser" Daly.

Britney Hitting Us One More Time

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Ahh, what May sweeps hath wrought. Britney continues to pull a Comeback Kid when she reprises her critically acclaimed role as that chick behind the receptionist desk on "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS) May 12th. Enough with the fake acting, Brit Brit. Fake singing was always your strong suit.

Mrs. Cannon

"Oprah" is all about gossip today as she employs a panel of cablenews-like talking heads that include George Steph's wife Alexandra something or other (as usual, she comes across more desperate to be funny than Kathy Griffin can), Gayle King and Mr. Kelly Ripa - Marc Consuelos.

Oprah made an otherwise ho-hum show interesting by teasing the audience with pics from a People magazine spread of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's hush hush island nuptials. Ooh! And in a scoop to beat all scoops, Oprah tells us the songbird that makes us say "Hmm" got a "Mrs. Cannon" tattoo across her back. Going to suck when she has to get that changed to "Mr., Scan On!" My favorite is the shot of young Nick full-on carrying Mariah in his arms.
Who knew the little tyke had it in him?

Classic GMA

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You've gotta love this. I'm doing my usual flip around to all the morning shows, well not CBS, who counts them? But let's see, the Today show is talking about the huge political storyline emerging from last night's all nighter democratic primary -- Hillary may actually have no choice but to hang it up -- and what's ABC's Good Morning America talking about at the top of the hour? A goldfish that plays fetch.

And there it was.

AM Radio

And your bird can sing...cubicle be damned!

Obama Said Knock You Out

We're in the umpteenth hour of coverage of the North Carolina and Indiana primaries and it looks like Obama shut Hillary down in NC 56/42 and lost by a slim margin 51/49 (Clinton) in IN. She'll probably stay in it because she's HRC. But I say from now on, everyone start calling her Hillabee.
I mainly ride the remote between MSNBC and CNN. Kudos to the powers that be by the way for keeping their station breaks in tandem for easy switching back and forth. The real fun though came when I took a peek at what was going on at Faux News. The place looked like a morgue, with a panel of old, grumpy GOP dinosaurs sitting around looking like someone just threw their candy in the sand. Na na na na na!

In other news, Hillary has cancelled all her morning show appearances and CNN's Map Master John King is beginning to look like an autistic at that big screen of his. Someone might want to slowly sit him down in between breaks. The poor guy looks like a touchscreen Rain Man out there.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Nobody likes Star Jones, Rosie Rages

Anyone not watching the "Oprah" show better hightail it to HarpoLand. Barbara Walters is singing like a canary. Best so far, her admission that Rosie is capable of great rage and that "The View" audience, after prolonged exposure steadily grew to loathe Star Jones. I know, I know, it's kind of like "come on Babs, tell us something we didn't know" but there's something delish about hearing it come from the "R"-impaired horse's mouth.

AM Radio

A little something to vote to if you're in Indiana and North Carolina. Interesting to watch all of these shows on cable news and all they can talk about is what makes for good politics instead of Truth and what will really help people. This could be because on cable news, there are fewer and fewer journalists doing the hosting and more more of these "analysts" who in a former life were republican and democratic strategists. It's all pretty gross, isn't it?

Monday, May 05, 2008

Rosie's Wright

Boys and girls, we just hit paydirt. Paydirt? Bygones. I just felt Sean Hannity and O'Reilly seize somewhere in paroxysms of white male rage and scandal whore joy. KL & Hoda asked, and they received just the sort of controversial statements they were seeking. How can you not love the sheer "I don't give a fuck"ness of the inimitable Rosie O.
Amidst the "Hello Lancaster" signs eagerly waved by "Today's" outside the studio, middle America audience, Rosie just defended the reverend white America loves to hate saying that she didn't feel the things preached by the Rev were wrong. Kathy Lee blanched a little from under her fake tan, the audience though, in keeping with their milling about cattle like tendencies did little more than mouth "Hi, Mom".

Kathy Lee = Awkward

And Rosie hasn't even come out yet. She and Hoda are still involved in their wannabe Regis & Kelly Lee banter. So KL is talking about her dog and asks Hoda if she can change her dog Lola's name to Hoda because she "accidentally" called her dog Hoda the other day and she responded better to that. Oh KL, you're as awful as we remembered.

This Just In: Rosie w/ Kathy Lee on "Today"

Sometimes you wake up on a Monday morning, and there are television gifts like this just waiting for you. Let's hope one or the other forgot their mood stabilizing meds. Stay tuned...