Tuesday, January 01, 2008

TV Would be So Much Better If...

There was no Miley Cyrus.

I'm over the age of...whatever age people are that willingly subject themselves to the drivel that populates the Disney Channel. I've gone a long time without knowing the difference between Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus. And now that I do, I've determined that the dislike I feel for them is equally distributed--you know, wait a minute no that's not true--I definitely hate Miley Cyrus more because she's the one I've had to endure the most. First it was the Disney Christmas Parade (I couldn't get to the remote fast enough and then I left it there at out of morbid curiousity). Then there she was on Regis and Kelly Lee where they played a clip from "Hannah Montana" which removed all doubt that maybe there was a chance this chick was talented in some capacity, perhaps acting, since it surely wasn't singing. After seeing the clip it was clear--that nasal, twangy screeching she calls singing is her strong suit.

Then! There she was on Dick Clark's Rockin Eve doing far too much emoting than was comfortable in what amounted to a telecast that was more like a Disney Channel infomercial than the happening party that I've come to depend on Dick Clark to provide for my New Year festivitying. An aside: Why were the Jonas Bros. outfitted like extras from a glam version of Oliver Twist? The kid in the top hat's ears disturbed me.

Leno to Suck on the Fly, Letterman Still the Shiz

Photos courtesy: tvguide.com / msnbc.com

Happy New Year, boys and girls!

Looks like 2008 is already making a name for itself. Tonight Letterman and Leno are back. We all know that the late night titans have been MIA since November 5th when production on most of the late night shows went dark due to the still ongoing writers' strike. But the Top Ten will rise again thanks to an eleventh hour deal Letterman's production company World Wide Pants, Inc.--which owns both the "Late Show" and "Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson"--brokered with the WGA that allows Letterman to come back with his full writing staff behind him. Joining him on the couch will be soft-spoken wallflower, Robin Williams.

As The San Francisco Chronicle's Tim Goodman points out here:
this could be one time when the unfailingly bland "Tonight Show" could prove more watchable than the "Late Show" since Leno will theoretically be winging it. The question I pose to you: Is scripted Letterman better than improv Leno?

My loyalty lies with Dave as you can tell since I've now switched to the more familiar first name reference. If you prefer cool to corny and double breasted Brooks Bros. suits to Sears sales rack, chances are yours does too. For my money, I'd go even further and bet that if you somehow think Leno is the superior late night comic, you probably also prefer Pepsi to Coke, are a fan of Dane Cook and/or Larry the Cable Guy and live in a part of your state where the Walmart is open 24 hrs. Howdy, Marion, VA!

Still, as much as I love Dave and want to support the writers, I'm a sucker for awkward. Tuning into Leno tonight just to take a gander is a forgivable offense. Mike Huckabee is Leno's guest tonight. This guy's on the ropes. The momentum he's enjoyed recently has been seriously sucker-punched by that Mormon ne'er-do-well Romney's negative ads in Iowa and it's the eve of the caucus. We're looking at a desperate man. Hold on to your, banjos, kids. We could be in store for a televised gaffe of Deanish proportions.